Check this out…this couple has got to be really funny to be around. I guess they were on the Today Show. I know it looks long but is VERY worth it!!
Too funny…
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Monthly Archives: July 2009
The elderly mother, part deux
I guess the decision HAS been made that we DO want a baby in our life (this should make our mothers glad). I get to deliver babies in my job. I get to play a huge role in the mama’s labor. I act kind of like a doula and after each delivery I go home and tell Adam how awesome it was and how gorgeous the baby was. If it is in the middle of the night when he feels me come back to bed it has become habit for him to roll over and say…”what’d they have?”.
I long to feel the wiggly movements in my belly and to see Adam look into the eyes of our baby. But….there is always a but, isn’t there? Well, you see…there are a few things.
First off, we (I especially) continue to be frightened at how this will change our lives. It will definitely be monumental I am sure. Adam’s father (who some think of as a prophet) had a dream once that we had twin boys. Aacckk!! Not a conversation occurs where we don’t talk about the, “what if we have twin boys” because lets face it, folks…he could very well be right on! Can you see us with twin boys?! Yeah, right.
Next is the reality that we HAVE been married for 13 years and while we haven’t been actively trying we have never conceived as of yet. Hmmmm, could it be a problem? Have you ever noticed how people who really shouldn’t have kids seem to pop them out left and right and the ones that would be fabulous parents seem to struggle a lot of the time? Frustrating. I mean, come on people…we have to have a license to drive a car but anyone that wants can have a kid?!
And, darnit…when it comes right down to it…I REALLY don’t want to be an elderly mother. So, essentially this means that in order for me to deliver by my 35th birthday (assuming the provider would let me go to 42 weeks before induction if necessary~I know, I know…details, details)…we need to make a baby by September 4, 2010. You see, this way I won’t have to check that little “advanced maternal age” box. Not that it really matters…
Me? An elderly mother…
It is common knowledge that Adam and I have struggled over the years about whether we should have children and if so, when, etc… We always said we wanted to have them probably but wanted to early enough in our lives that they’d be out of the house by the time we are 50 (don’t ask where that number came from). Therefore, we’d need to start a family by the time we were 32…at the latest!
Well, lets just put it this way…err, we are past 32 now. Looking back I know that Adam would have loved 16 kids within the first year of our marriage. The man is a kid-magnet. He LOVES them. I, on the other hand have always worried about my abilities to mother and also wanted to get my career going (the age-old career first, family second..yada yada yada). He is a very patient man, to say the least as we have now been married for 13 years, and yet…still no babies.
Over the years, though he has also changed. We have blissfully traveled whenever we like, gone where we like and whenever we like, etc. We veg out on weekends, eat crap for supper (often) and just basically have learned to take care of just ourselves. More than once Adam has said he doesn’t know if he can imagine having children now, that he likes being able to just pick up and go, etc. So over the years he started having doubts. Throw his doubts in with my doubts and there you have it…13 years of marriage, two dogs and three cats.
We have been doing some SERIOUS talking though lately. First off every time I have a tummy ache I tell him ah, it’s just my uterus aging. Now, he knows that menopause can run early in my family (and I mean like late 30’s early) and so this bothers him.
Secondly I am concerned about my age and complications that may arise because of it. For any of you women out there that have had a baby you had to likely answer a gazillion questions at your first obstetric visit. Heck, I ask the same ones to my patients all the time. Well, you know the little box that says: will you be age 35 or older at the time of delivery? Yeah, ahhh…that is the very box that is bothering me.
They used to call you an elderly mother if you were 35 or older at the time of delivery. Thank goodness they have changed the terminology! Now, you are simply called one of “advanced maternal age”. Yes it sounds much less ominous but it does come with challenges. Genetic abnormalities definitely increase with each year of the mother’s age and because of this they want to do an amniocentesis. Just this week I learned off the increase in the rate of still birth in mom’s of advanced maternal age when they go past 39 weeks of pregnancy. Geesh!
I’ve more to write but have to get going now so check back later for the rest of my thoughts!
Is it Abdiel…or not?
Awhile back I mentioned that we had adopted a child through World Vision. Abdiel Enoc Amaya is 12 years old and lives in El Salvador. We’ve received two letters from him so far and we are puzzled. The first one was basically to thank us for sponsoring him and the second one was in response to an email we sent to him right after we “adopted” him. We then sent a package so I am sure we have another letter coming.
The problem is this: the information we got from World Vision says that he has 4 brothers and 4 sisters whereas one of the letters he sent says he has one brother. And…as you can see in the pictures the handwriting is CLEARLY not the same! Aaacckk! So, now what. I hate to be a jerk but I want to know that Abdiel is real and getting the money and gifts we are sending to him. We’ve kind of decided to wait for the next letter and see what the writing looks like on that one. Any ideas or experiences?
Getting gray hair
I got into a car accident yesterday……before I got out of the garage. Yep, ran into Adam’s truck. Of course there is no damage to his truck but a bunch to my suv. Just one more thing to deal with I guess. But as Adam says at least it wasn’t me against a semi, etc…you should have seen him. You’d think I’d rolled my car four times and landed in the ditch and he was told they weren’t sure if I would make it. He was so relieved I was “okay”…I’m like, honey…I haven’t even made it out of the driveway yet.
See, thats the great thing about Adam. He is beyond amazing. A wonderful man. We have been through some tough times recently. Well, actually for about 18 months or so. All the while, he keeps a positive attitude. Me on the other hand…not so positive. I keep hoping for the end of our troubles to be in sight but it isn’t…yet. Our life has just been rough~at least we have one another though as a lot of people are not that fortunate.
Adam told me last night, as he was holding me while I was tearing up again…don’t worry, things will get better soon and when they do we are going to look great with all of this gray hair we’ve been getting! Thanks, babe.