True. Story. Just happened after I finished seeing a farmer patient of mine, whom by the way drove to the clinic in a tractor. (to set the scene up there is the patient, me and Bonnie who is our office manager)

Patient: Doc-do you want a quarter of a cow?

Me: Sure

Patient: Ok, just go on down to the locker to pick it up

Me: Pella’s locker?

Patient: Yep.

Bonnie (whispering): Shana, tell him what quarter you want

Me (whispering to Bonnie): Well, which do I want?

Bonnie (whispering): the rear

Me: Can I have the rear quarter of the cow?

Patient: Sure can, just go down and get it and then we’ll bill ya’, that’s the bad part.

Me: Ok, Thanks…Merry Christmas

——————walking away—————————-

Me: Wait a minute….how big is this quarter of a cow?

Patient: Pretty big, why?

Me: Will it fit in my freezer?

Patient: No, you rent a locker.

Me: I don’t want to do that…can I get an 1/8 of a cow?

Patient: No, just find some friends to share it with.

Me: No, seriously I don’t want to rent a locker. What about a 1/16 of a cow.

Patient: Well, they are corn-fed so they aren’t that big I guess. Maybe you could give some to your family for Christmas. They’d love it for gifts.

*****needless to say this carried on for a good 10 minutes in the waiting room in front of other patients all of which were giggling. Only in rural Nebraska do you come to your doctor and try to sell a cow. It was great. Gotta love it here!!!