…of my Husband, that is.

Besides the fact that he is the best, is the most supportive man ever and takes care of me. He wraps his arms around me (both literally and figuratively) at all times.

BUT on to the good stuff. He tells me last night as we are eating supper that he was one of three guys nominated for employee of the month. I’m all, “that’s soooo cool!!!”. Then he tells me there are two other guys. My first thought is how tough is the competition? I mean, it’s game time, right? Ha ha. He says, it’s pretty tough because they are nice guys and have been working there for a long time and he has only been for four months (which I gave him a standing ovation right then and there because heck, being nominated after that short period of time he deserves it!!!). My next thought, of course is, well…what does he get. I mean, what if it is an all expense paid trip to Hawaii (I can dream, can’t I?). In reality, though it is a parking space for a month and an all expense paid gift card to Wal-mart ($25). Wowsa, we’ll take what we can get! Put your game face on, babe…I know you can do it!!!

Onto the next fabulous thing Adam did this week (he’s so good). His work has this wellness program and a couple of weeks ago he had to complete this scorecard dealy. It included the basics like do you wear your seat belt, do you smoke, when was the last time you went to the dentist, had your blood sugar checked, had your cholesterol checked, etc. Being married to the freak that I am he is current on all of that. For some odd reason all of his blood work is pathetically normal. He called me to find out what his levels were and I told him to just put on there that his doctor said just that…”pathetically normal” (which after seeing his scorecard in person last night I see now that he literally put that).

So…he gets his score back yesterday and only got 31 out of 50. I’m all, babe…that isn’t so good. What’s up with that? What did you fail at? What should we do~I mean do they think you are dying or something? Geesh. He says just wait until you read the survey and then you’ll understand. Here is where he lost points, people (and NO, I am not kidding):

• If you are male and 50 or older have you had your prostate checked (ahhhh, age 33 right here)
• If you are 50 or older have you had your colon checked (ditto)
• If you are female have you had a mammogram (he does have boobies but, well… let’s just leave it at that)
• If you are female have you had a pap smear (his response to this is I don’t have one of those)
• Do you carry our health insurance (he has mine as it is better)
• Did you participate in one of our wellness activities in the past year (ugh…they haven’t had one????)

..and the legitimate ones that I have dug my whip out and have started him working on this morning all ready (can’t you hear his sweating in the background?!)

• Did you get CPR trained in the last 24 months (his expired in 2007, darnit to heck!!)
• Do you drink less than 3 caffeinated beverages (I thought he was only doing 2 (I write that like he is “doing” drugs, geesh)…he was sneakin’ them past me to stay awake!!!
• Do you receive a minimum of two hours per week of exclusive exercise
• Have you deliberately lost 5% of your weight in the past 12 months
• Is your BMI greater than 27

So, he needs to become a woman (ugh, that would be a big N-O), cut back on the caffeine and exercise. The good news is he gets and extra $5 each week for his 31 points. But if he was a woman he would probably get $15 (drats). They say they are working on getting a better questionnaire.

I told him, good job, babe…you are such a good boy. His response was….”I’m just a boy stuck in a fat man’s body”.