Domestic I Am Not

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I am not domestic. Used to be. Not anymore. What happened to me? Not sure. My mom says it is this house. It ruined that part of me. I used to keep things so clean my sister said you could eat off of our floors. I used to cook. I used to love to paint and do all sorts of crafts. There is no huge secret (well at least not now I guess) that I have battled serious depression and such and things have been worse over the years…a waxing and waning of sorts. I’ve (we’ve) been trying to get myself back. Things kind of peaked again the beginning of October. I crashed a little and have been trying to bounce back…therefore my rubber duckies!!! Did you know flour expires? Yep, it does. Found that out yesterday…ours did two years ago. Eggs do too. Ours did in September.

I decided to bake Christmas cookies this year. Adam has been helping very graciously and we’ve been at it for two days straight and having tons of fun. Seriously!

Christmas!

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I received this from my Uncle this morning and I think we should all watch it. Think twice the next time you are quickly scribbling a note and write xmas instead of Christmas and like the guy says in the video the next time you go to order a latte and they say “Happy Holidays” maybe you could say something. I like the comment about Valentine’s day. We don’t say “Happy Holidays” to people on Valentine’s day.

I’ll take one cow with that

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True. Story. Just happened after I finished seeing a farmer patient of mine, whom by the way drove to the clinic in a tractor. (to set the scene up there is the patient, me and Bonnie who is our office manager)

Patient: Doc-do you want a quarter of a cow?

Me: Sure

Patient: Ok, just go on down to the locker to pick it up

Me: Pella’s locker?

Patient: Yep.

Bonnie (whispering): Shana, tell him what quarter you want

Me (whispering to Bonnie): Well, which do I want?

Bonnie (whispering): the rear

Me: Can I have the rear quarter of the cow?

Patient: Sure can, just go down and get it and then we’ll bill ya’, that’s the bad part.

Me: Ok, Thanks…Merry Christmas

——————walking away—————————-

Me: Wait a minute….how big is this quarter of a cow?

Patient: Pretty big, why?

Me: Will it fit in my freezer?

Patient: No, you rent a locker.

Me: I don’t want to do that…can I get an 1/8 of a cow?

Patient: No, just find some friends to share it with.

Me: No, seriously I don’t want to rent a locker. What about a 1/16 of a cow.

Patient: Well, they are corn-fed so they aren’t that big I guess. Maybe you could give some to your family for Christmas. They’d love it for gifts.

*****needless to say this carried on for a good 10 minutes in the waiting room in front of other patients all of which were giggling. Only in rural Nebraska do you come to your doctor and try to sell a cow. It was great. Gotta love it here!!!

And again

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I did it again. This very morning. Got stuck in that exact same spot! You may ask, Shana~dearie, why did you go that same way when you know you may get stuck there? Well, I couldn’t back out because Adam’s car was behind mine because he had taken my Mom to the airport in her SUV this am VERY early and it was still dark out and I didn’t want to hit him and couldn’t see and and and….

Yesterday, a friend of ours was able to “bump” me out with his truck by basically tapping me a couple of times (no damage, thankfully) but today a friend of ours that works for the city had to actually pull me out. Now let me just say that I am not the only one getting stuck in this exact place (although I am probably the only one that has so more than once). Adam even did yesterday! So, the good news is that after this morning our friend is going to plow the alley for us! Yay for Doug and Chris!