When we were married I carried a bouquet with two dozen red roses and ivy. As a gift, the florist gave us the ivy plant that she took the ivy from for my bouquet. It lasted for a couple of years. It got down to one pathetic strand of ivy about five feet long that I just wrapped all around itself to make it look like a real plant. It was sad. Real sad. It died. Adam was crushed. I think he truly thought it was symbolic of our marriage or something. I threw it away and didn’t think twice about the silly thing. I cannot keep plants alive. Not. At. All. I do not know why but I just cannot! At any rate a couple of years later we go to move and are loading the U-haul and I am helping pack the garage and come across this plant pot with this dead scraggly lookin’ thing….the ivy!!! Adam dug the darn thing out of the garbage and kept it all those years in the garage. He says he didn’t feel right throwing it away!

Okay, so now you know that I really cannot keep anything alive and that Adam really wants to help me keep things alive and this will help you understand the point of this silly post. When my Nana passed Adam’s parents sent me this awesome plant. They even called our florist to specifically ask for a plant that would be safe if my cats ate it, etc and that would be easy for me to still care for….ie: I hopefully will not kill the thing. I got a lipstick plant. When I got this plant it was gorgeous. Soooo full and it bloomed within a couple of weeks and the flowers were red and literally looked like little tubes of lipstick. When I got it I printed instructions out on how to take care of it, went and got fertilizer, you name it. We’ve taken to calling her Nana…silly, I know. Especially since I have a (ahem, how shall I put this) horrendous time taking care of living things. Anyhow, she never ever bloomed again and everything we read says she should be. She keeps dropping her leaves and is sooooo thinned out. I’ve got her hanging in the window by the sun.

Adam wakes up this morning and I hear him in the dining room where she is hanging talking to her and he says, “don’t worry, we’re gonna get you somewhere warmer”. NOT KIDDING!!! He tells me, “I just read online that she is native from the rain forest. It is too cold in here for her and way too dry. We have to move her!”. At this point I am giggling beyond giggles at the situation. He goes to the basement for a hook and comes back and says he thinks we should put her in the laundry room. Our laundry room is also in the mud room which has a doggy door so it gets chilly. Because of this there is a space heater in there so it is actually verrrrry toasty.

At this point I am frustrated because she looked soooo pretty in the dining room, especially when she was blooming…..SEVEN MONTHS AGO!!! Here she was this morning before her move:

Now, I know to you she probably looks good but trust me…she doesn’t. She looks real bad compared to what she used to. Oooohh, I forgot…see that round thing up there by the one chain? That is the end of a meat thermometer that Adam stuck to her to monitor her temperature. This is why he decided she should be moved. She was only 60 degrees here by the window. NOT KIDDING.

Here she is in her rain forest-like atmosphere:

I especially like the hook Adam chose. A freaking bike hook. Lovely, dear. As you can see he left the meat thermometer there and has been checking on her periodically throughout the day and has it at a balmy 90 degrees in there. And, has told me to leave the lights on too because “she’ll like that”. Ha ha. It is sad, though because that darn ivy from almost 14 years ago obviously traumatized the poor guy. I don’t care, though…especially if this plant blooms again!