It is common knowledge that Adam and I have struggled over the years about whether we should have children and if so, when, etc… We always said we wanted to have them probably but wanted to early enough in our lives that they’d be out of the house by the time we are 50 (don’t ask where that number came from). Therefore, we’d need to start a family by the time we were 32…at the latest!
Well, lets just put it this way…err, we are past 32 now. Looking back I know that Adam would have loved 16 kids within the first year of our marriage. The man is a kid-magnet. He LOVES them. I, on the other hand have always worried about my abilities to mother and also wanted to get my career going (the age-old career first, family second..yada yada yada). He is a very patient man, to say the least as we have now been married for 13 years, and yet…still no babies.
Over the years, though he has also changed. We have blissfully traveled whenever we like, gone where we like and whenever we like, etc. We veg out on weekends, eat crap for supper (often) and just basically have learned to take care of just ourselves. More than once Adam has said he doesn’t know if he can imagine having children now, that he likes being able to just pick up and go, etc. So over the years he started having doubts. Throw his doubts in with my doubts and there you have it…13 years of marriage, two dogs and three cats.
We have been doing some SERIOUS talking though lately. First off every time I have a tummy ache I tell him ah, it’s just my uterus aging. Now, he knows that menopause can run early in my family (and I mean like late 30’s early) and so this bothers him.
Secondly I am concerned about my age and complications that may arise because of it. For any of you women out there that have had a baby you had to likely answer a gazillion questions at your first obstetric visit. Heck, I ask the same ones to my patients all the time. Well, you know the little box that says: will you be age 35 or older at the time of delivery? Yeah, ahhh…that is the very box that is bothering me.
They used to call you an elderly mother if you were 35 or older at the time of delivery. Thank goodness they have changed the terminology! Now, you are simply called one of “advanced maternal age”. Yes it sounds much less ominous but it does come with challenges. Genetic abnormalities definitely increase with each year of the mother’s age and because of this they want to do an amniocentesis. Just this week I learned off the increase in the rate of still birth in mom’s of advanced maternal age when they go past 39 weeks of pregnancy. Geesh!
I’ve more to write but have to get going now so check back later for the rest of my thoughts!
