I guess the decision HAS been made that we DO want a baby in our life (this should make our mothers glad). I get to deliver babies in my job. I get to play a huge role in the mama’s labor. I act kind of like a doula and after each delivery I go home and tell Adam how awesome it was and how gorgeous the baby was. If it is in the middle of the night when he feels me come back to bed it has become habit for him to roll over and say…”what’d they have?”.

I long to feel the wiggly movements in my belly and to see Adam look into the eyes of our baby. But….there is always a but, isn’t there? Well, you see…there are a few things.

First off, we (I especially) continue to be frightened at how this will change our lives. It will definitely be monumental I am sure. Adam’s father (who some think of as a prophet) had a dream once that we had twin boys. Aacckk!! Not a conversation occurs where we don’t talk about the, “what if we have twin boys” because lets face it, folks…he could very well be right on! Can you see us with twin boys?! Yeah, right.

Next is the reality that we HAVE been married for 13 years and while we haven’t been actively trying we have never conceived as of yet. Hmmmm, could it be a problem? Have you ever noticed how people who really shouldn’t have kids seem to pop them out left and right and the ones that would be fabulous parents seem to struggle a lot of the time? Frustrating. I mean, come on people…we have to have a license to drive a car but anyone that wants can have a kid?!

And, darnit…when it comes right down to it…I REALLY don’t want to be an elderly mother. So, essentially this means that in order for me to deliver by my 35th birthday (assuming the provider would let me go to 42 weeks before induction if necessary~I know, I know…details, details)…we need to make a baby by September 4, 2010. You see, this way I won’t have to check that little “advanced maternal age” box. Not that it really matters…