Missing and wishing

I miss Adam hollering into my belly at our babies.

I miss not feeling well from 4-6pm and being excited because I knew why.

I miss the round ligament pain that I got every time I went to get up from the couch because I was excited my pelvis was stretching.

I miss the excitement that an ultrasound was coming.

I miss having a secret that only my Husband and I knew and would soon share with the world.

I miss having hope.

I wish I could have wore maternity clothes.

I wish I could have breast fed.

I wish I could have felt my babies kick.

I wish I could have felt my babies have the hiccups.

I wish I could have had a henna tattoo on my pregnant belly.

I wish I could look into my Husband’s eyes in our baby.

I wish I had an ultrasound picture of our babies profiles.

I wish I could see what they look like.

I wish I could have sent my Mom the Betten onesie as a surprise.

I wish I could be like so many others that have been lucky enough to not have to experience this.

I wish I wasn’t sad.

I wish I could go a full day without crying.

I wish I could give my Husband a child.

I wish we would have tried when we were younger.

I wish money wasn’t an issue.

I wish my Mom lived closer.

I wish we were raising a family at the same time my brother is and that we were experiencing all of those wonderful things together.

I wish I wasn’t such a debbie-downer.

I wish….


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