It is like that country song that says some of God’s greatest gifts are unanswered prayers. It is so very hard to understand, though. I realize He has a plan for us but this does not change the fact that I feel hopeless, angry and lost. I literally do not know what to do with my life-our lives. I’ve always felt there was more. More than just going to work in the morning, returning in the evening to cook supper and before you know it, do it all again the next day. I’ve always thought that it was a child that was missing. If this isn’t what God has in store for us, what does He want us to do? And, I worry so much about if something ever happens to one of us. I don’t want the other to be alone. I realize that is a heavy burden (and the wrong reason) to place on a child. It’s like there is two of me right now. The realistic girl, that knows God has a plan, that knows that what has happened has for a reason. The other me is so frustrated, disappointed and depressed.
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