Noelle Lynne’

As most couples do, we thought that the 12 week mark would be a good time to officially “announce” our pregnancy. This was right around Christmas so we planned on doing it through a Christmas card.

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We wanted to do something special for our families, though and picked out onesies for our siblings.

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For my Mom, we actually made a onesie. In honor of my Nana and Pepe and my Mom being their 2nd child…

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It was a Saturday and we were around ten weeks pregnant. I think I actually covered the clinic that morning but things are hazy. I started thinking that my breasts weren’t tender anymore…hmmmm. I (hoped) that maybe it was just because I was getting farther along but being ten weeks I also knew that there was a possibility (albeit slight) that we could hear our babies heart with a doppler so I brought one home with me to try.

We tried to find a heartbeat for so long that my abdomen hurt from the pressure from the doppler and my skin felt raw. All we heard was the steady slow thump of blood to my uterus….my heartbeat.

I knew right away. Adam said/hoped it was just too early yet to hear. He prayed. We prayed. We spoke with the OB/GYN on call and she gave a telephone order to one of our radiology techs so that I could just go straight to our hospital here for an ultrasound.

Silence. Nothing.

Despair, denial….I started shaking. I was crying so hard I needed help getting dressed and getting to our car. When we got home Adam went to his knees and cried. I curled up in a ball in disbelief. The on-call OB/GYN called my cell phone. You have to remember that I know these people. I refer to them routinely. Adam answered, crying. I spoke with her-I was a mess. We wanted to know why. We needed to know.

I had surgery early the next morning, December 19, 2013. Right before surgery, the OB/GYN did one last ultrasound to look at our baby. She was so still, our sweet baby. I remember crying in the recovery room asking for Adam and asking if my baby was gone. They said, “Yes. Yes, it is”. I had a horrible headache and nausea from the anesthesia but they were fairly quick to get me discharged….it was a Sunday and of course, they were the on-call crew. I can’t blame them. The hour drive home was horrible. I took two days off from work and tried to go back to normal, whatever that was.

On December 23, 2013 we found out that we had a daughter. She had trisomy 23. We named her Noelle Lynne’ Carter.

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