Yearly Archives: 2012

Heartbroke

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Since my last post, we were blessed with the best news we have EVER received….too quickly replaced by WORST heartache we have ever felt.

To the Child in My Heart
Precious, tiny, sweet little one
You will always be to me
So perfect, pure and innocent
Just as you were meant to be.

We dreamed of you and your life
And all that it would be
We waited and longed for you to come
And join our family.

We never had the chance to play,
To laugh, to rock, to wiggle.
We long to hold you, touch you now
And listen to you giggle.

I’ll always be your mother.
He’ll always be your dad.
You will always be our child,
The child that we had.

But now you’re gone…but yet you’re here.
We’ll sense you everywhere.
You are our sorrow and our joy.
There’s love in every tear.

Just know our love goes deep and strong.
We’ll forget you never-
The child we had, but never had,
And yet will have forever.

Go to the Next Post In Our Adoption Journey

so long for now….

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For many months I have been struggling with blogging in a positive light. And that is important because I want this blog to be a happy and fun place…….with a little bit of reality interspersed here or there.

We have some big decisions coming up that effect Adam’s job and whether or not we will be moving forward on trying for a family…..and from where that family may come from. It is time to place our thoughts and energies towards these decisions.

I won’t be blogging for now. Thank you for the love and kindness you have shared with me in the past few years.  XOXO

Only the strong survive

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WARNING: This video is not for the tender-hearted. It is suspenseful and you’ll find yourself on the edge of your seat cheering for the most “talented” dude, the “strongest” one…

http://www.babycenter.com/2_inside-pregnancy-fertilization_10354435.bc

We especially liked how it looked like grass waving in the breeze (with full sound-effects) as he neared the ovary. The music was intense!

Seriously, though….we are currently freaked about the idea of having multiples. As the video points out only about 100 lil’ dudes make it to the ovary…..Adam asked me how many babes we could get pregnant with and after this video I told him, “obviously 100!”. You should have seen me take my Clomid….I had to trick myself into thinking it is an M&M so as not to freak out about the thought of multiples and randomly spit it out. It could happen. Well, not 100…but obviously multiples happen. No one wakes up one day and says, “Hey, I want to be an octo-mom!”. Oh, holy schmoley….

ALL of our tests are back and everything is great! We officially have “unexplained infertility” (ahem, with a side comment that it is most likely related to my age). And, just as a side-note, the hystersalpinogram sucked was VERY enjoyable and because of the comments the specialist made Adam now has an ego. Not really…but it was comical to hear the specialist explain how he, um…ace’d his test!

Next up…ultrasound this week to see how well the Clomid worked!

We have an egg!! (and a f.l.u…)

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I got a great Birthday gift today! A scan the specialist did this afternoon shows we have an egg!!! [Cue music!!]

I almost asked for a picture! Most people have ultrasound images of their baby…not us (yet)-but we’ll take what we can get by golly! We’ve worked hard for this here lil’ egg and as Adam said last week “we’re not greedy!”.

This may sound terrible to some of you folks but we have a phrase some people use in medicine. FLK, or funny lookin’ kid. Now, I know that all kids are ADORABLE but every so often you come across a FLK-which is the first thing that came to mind when she asked the nurse to go get another doctor to look at my uterus. Hmmm. At first they thought it was bicornuate (two-lobed) but in the end they are pretty sure there is just a larger fibroid. We’re rooting for the fibroid as the other increases our chances of miscarriage and preterm labor. The only way to know for sure is to have a hystersalpinogram which I cannot have until the first week of July. That is, of course, unless we take advantage of the egg we have and get pregnant this month!!!

So I left the doctor’s office with my FLU and pulled up behind this car…not kidding. (and yes, there was only ONE egg-I saw it with my own eyes!)