Baby Carter

Five years ago today we lost our first baby. Little did we know that we would go on to lose three more. DNA testing wasnt done in the first two and therefore we do not know their gender. Our last two babies were girls that we named Noellle and Lainey. Noelle had trisomy 17 but Lainey was healthy. Endometriosis sucks.

At the time, these losses were horrifying but now we understand more of what Gods plan was all along. And, I’ll be honest….I would go through all the heartache again just to get my Lainey.


unanswered prayers

I referenced a couple of posts back about having surgery. Well, it didn’t happen due to unexpected insurance reasons. I could go on and on about my disappointment in our healthcare system and frustrations that I experience daily in my practice and obviously now personally, too but that is not what this post is about. This post is about unanswered prayers.

Sometimes God is right on and knows exactly what He is doing. #amen

I was supposed to have a hysterectomy for endometriosis. I am likely full of it. We did not realize how much so until we received the surgical report from 2014. From the surgery I had to remove the 8 fibroids right before we tried the last time to conceive. We were told after that surgery that the surgeon DID see “some” endometriosis and removed it. He only briefly mentioned it. Flash forward to now when we received the surgical report and it appears that I was basically riddled with endometriosis. One can only conclude that this is likely why we were losing our babies. With endometriosis you not only miscarry easily but the entire pregnancy is often not as high of quality from the very beginning. It is best to treat the endometriosis before conceiving. Ideally the treatment is with an injection called Lupron 6 months prior to trying to conceive.

My surgery was in June, 2014. Had I been told this we would have taken Lupron from July through February, 2015. We wouldn’t have tried to conceive and lost our fourth baby, leading us to proceed forward with our fingerprints, learning about surrogacy vs. adoption, etc.

Lainey Noelle was born January 21, 2015. I would still have been on Lupron. Adopting would not have even been on our radar yet. My stomach hurts thinking about not having this beautiful soul as my daughter…


Thank you, GOD. THANK YOU, GOD! It is a weird feeling to (somewhat) feel thankful for losing my fourth baby so I could have my beautiful daughter.

I leave you with these journal pages that I found this morning. They are from my pregnancy with Noelle. I can feel our excitement while reading them and I remember hearing her heartbeat. I am so glad we have a recording of it. I am also sharing that post below!

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the most beautiful sound on earth

“Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. ” Mark 11:24





Lainey is busy. Insanely busy. Are all 22 month old’s like this? I mean seriously…I present example one: LAUNDRY Most of us have dirty laundry sitting in front of the washer while washing clothes. Lainey is sooooo helpful. She just loves to get in to the dryer and take out the clean, dry clothes for me. And, while she is at she loves to help out by putting the dirty clothes into the dryer. Such a sweetheart! Consequently, Mama has to smell everyone’s clothes to determine if they are clean or not. Nice.


For a long time she has thrown away her own diaper and for the last 6 weeks or so she has started to flush the toilet. Not sure why as she, herself, does not utilize said toilet. Regardless, on more than one occasion we have found diapers now in our toilets. These are great fun to remove.


We are working on manners. She is really good at thank you and please. Recently after her bath she was sitting naked on her hard wood floor in her bedroom. She had a really long loud toot. Of course, Daddy and I were trying really hard to not roll on the floor in laughter. I said, “Lainey, what do you say?”. She thought really hard and for a long time. Her response? “Bless you”. #needtoworkonthat


She has had two more reactions to cow’s milk. Boo! She had nothing from March to August. We were getting excited that she was growing out of it but then has reacted twice since then, once of the reactions was actually the worse she had since her very first when she was 8 months old. She’ll be seeing her allergist to be retested in December and I now imagine it will still be positive for a cow’s milk allergy. Needless to say, we all have really good cholesterol in this house. #pleasesendcheese

Halloween was super fun with her this year! We went to five houses and she was amazed that all of those people gave her treats!


Two months ago she had fun at Hay Days. She was a great parade watcher and carnival rider!

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She loves Ring Around the Rosie. She calls it ‘Ashes’. Daddy and Mama aren’t good enough, though. It has to be a family affiar, including Kalia and Tally. Thankfully she’ll let Daddy carry Tally and Kalia has learned how to “fall down”.


Clothing is definitely optional to her. We clearly hope this changes.




Do not be fooled, she does not like vegetables!



This stroller is literally on its last leg. She sucks her tummy in just so she can still fit herself into it!

She has baked with Mama twice now, both times mixing with her hands rather than the spoon. #wearefamily,right?


And, finally…do you remember the page in our Christmas card that was dedicated to all of her “what the heck?” faces. She still makes those very same faces. A lot, actually. We think she thinks we are crazy old parents, probably. At least that is what we think she is thinking when she gives us this look:


a girl’s first time to the zoo

We took a long weekend and spent a couple of days at Henry Doorly Zoo in Omaha. For those of you that have been, you know that it is HUGE. We haven’t been in years and were surprised at how many more exhibits there are. We were there both mornings at opening time and left early afternoon at nap time and quite honestly could have used a third day! Our gal LOVES animals. You’ll see in the pictures that she kissed as many as possible. We were (quite) literally washing off exhibit windows as we left where she had kissed. We have a lover!

We had been telling her for the week prior that we were going on an adventure! We would stay in a hotel, go swimming and see her cousin Madison play volleyball. She was excited…just because we were! Every night before bed we would show her youtube videos of zoo animals and we would make their funny noises to get ready!

We started our trip out watching cousin play volleyball!



The zoo was perfect, the weather was amazing and Lainey did great!



This was probably one of our favorite moments. We gave her one of the snack sticks to hold in the bird pavilion, not thinking a bird would EVER land on it! Welp! One did! I think the first photo clearly shows how she felt about the whole situation! Mama whispered in her ear to hold really still so the bird could eat and she did very good. We then told her to smile, which is the second picture!

img_20160904_101237738 img_20160904_101246686Her very first carousel EVER!

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I love these next two pictures with her reflections in the glass!

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And, of course the highlight for Mama’s trip!!!



One last kiss!

The hotel has a river flowing through it and at breakfast they gave her food to feed the fish. She LOVED it!


Adam and I joke that we might finally have our veterinarian of the family! Our girl sure loves animals of all kinds. Except for bugs. Definitely not bugs.

I hope to post again later this week. I’ll be having surgery and maybe a little free time on my hands so plan to catch up on a few things. #dreaming

Give thanks to the Lord for He is good. His love endures forever. Ps 107:1